Mario Kart 8 Canon

Kyle's Mario Kart 8 Canon (Stylised as ~Mario Kart 8 Canon~ (I will accept all of this as truth until Nintendo officially explains otherwise)) is an explanation Kyle created to justify the existence of Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, Baby Rosalina and Pink Gold Peach.

In this story, Ludwig and Roy are talking in-between races on the side of Mario Circuit, and Ludwig asks Roy how it could be they are racing against baby versions of some of the other racers. Ludwig reasons it may be time travel, but Roy explains to him that the babies are actually clones. The Lakitus that run the Mario Kart Organisation (MKO) created the babies in order to add a much needed bit of whimsy to the races, in an attempt to appeal to a female audience. The Lakitus care for the babies when they're not racing, and in Roy's words "doll them up" before the races, in a similar sense to how mothers would doll up their children before a Child Beauty Pageant. The Lakitu's caring for the babies means the adult versions never need to see them when they're not racing. When the babies grow up, new clones are made to replace them, and it is unknown what happens to the former babies, other than it is decidedly gruesome.

The canon becomes even more demented when Ludwig enquires about the existence of Pink Gold Peach. Roy tells him that whenever Mario becomes Metal Mario, what is actually happening is that Mario is wearing a "living metal coating", and retains the memory of Mario's shape and movements, but none of his soul. When Bowser saw Metal Mario racing against actual Mario, he yearned for a Metal Peach of his own, and convinced Kamek to create a pink gold hat which would do the same thing to Peach, and tricked her into wearing it for 30 seconds, thus creating Pink Gold Peach. However, to Bowser's dismay, he could not love this soulless shadow of his true love, and after a brief period of dating, kicked her out of the castle. The Lakitus found her quickly after this, and hired her into the MKO, where she now races against her former lover who cast her aside.

Despite coming up with this explanation, Kyle insists he is completely mentally stable to this day.